And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
