She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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