dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize