hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
