you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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