I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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