My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
