i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
