Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
