Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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