never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
