people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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