Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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