I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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