i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
