think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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