I wannas sexs uuuuu
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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