Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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