The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
