Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
These tits shall not be calmed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
