butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
