I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
