Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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