A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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