It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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