Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
