im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize