i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i've created a new STD.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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