You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize