how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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