Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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