There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
