Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
