Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
