i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize