go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
