Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
