in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
