dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
