So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
