Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
