i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize