6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
