you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
