i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
