I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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