Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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