11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize