We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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