it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
