I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize