k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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