By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
