I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
