Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize