she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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