Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
