Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize