Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
