is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize