I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
