I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
