ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
