Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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