So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
