Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
