Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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