Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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