this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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