Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize