I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
